December 2009
201 posts
I will leave with a smile.
I was reminded today about how funny this conversation I had, ages ago, with a friend of mine was.
Taylor: If we're going to travel together we need to go to some low expense countries.
Me: Really?
Taylor: Yes. Just think of it like, 'if you love Greece you'll love Lithuania'.
Me: Haha. Yeah 'if you love France, you'll love (i paused for a good 30 seconds searching the map that was front of me) Lithuania!'
Taylor: I just said that...
Note- It may be only me that finds this absolutely hilarious. : D
I found out today that if the orange light on my computer is flashing it means that it’s healthy and will work better. The light is not flashing right now and has not been for the past 10 minutes… :|
My computer is working again and I'm going to take...
Note: I will strictly use only four volts of lightening and will limit the amount of gusty wind I use…
The End...
The inevitable finally came. The death of my computer. I will no longer be connected to the internet world. I will have to spend my time knitting sweaters, stroking cats and blowing bubbles whilst runnning in grassy medows. Until I get a functionion machine, good bye cruel world…
I may be the devil...
Today while I was doing some last minute christmas shopping with a friend I came to the conclusion that I’m never having children. Not just because I don’t like them, but because they don’t like me.
We were in K-mart getting head phones, as they generally only last about a week, when the little girl in the stroller ahead of us dropped her book. The preoccupied parent started to...
Escape from scorpion island.
I was watching the repeats of Escape from scorpion island today and I realised something. They use the children in limbo as human prizes. Human prizes? Next they will be selling their virginity on the black market. ‘Alex is a power player he gives good hand jobs’…
My opinion- The show is a sick porno for tredophiles.
Note: A Tredophile is a term given to pedophile that rides...
How to enjoy a morning:
Wake up and check if anyone is awake yet- you don’t want to have to interact with family at all.
Eat breakfast alone, when dad comes out respond with brief hello- can’t have them suspecting that there’s something wrong.
Pack for the day and your mission
Blog your mission
Begin the mission- the 7km walk into Tewantin. Leave before parents even know...
Bed... Fuck tomorrow.
I hate it how the only reason why I’m still awake is because I dread what tomorrow will bring. Stupid family telling me to move out. They should all just go lick a cactus…
Customers
Now I haven't been able to post all my recent interactions with wonderful customers so here are some that I remember;
Customer: (Stands ominously over the coffee machine, silently)
Me: (Gives awkward smile, continues to froth milk)
Customer: (Still silent, now unblinking)
Me: (Slight shudder) Umm, are you waiting on a coffee?
Customer: (Still no audible reaction, moves something with hand)
Me: (Looks to see he is holding the water jug) Would you like me to fill that up for you?
Customer: (Finding his voice) Yes thank you. Thank you so much I'm so thirsty...
I'm pretty sure he would have stood there all day if I didn't respond to him.
Customer: Congratulations on your op Zac.
Me: Thanks heaps.
Customer: So what are you going to do then?
Me: Drama (Knowing all well that people freak out over that response, oh here it comes)
Customer: Drama!? You don't need an op for that.
Thank you for your judgement. I can see that your career as a doll bludger seems to be flourishing...
Me: Excuse me what coffee were you waiting on?
Customer: Oh, the half strength cap.
Me: Ok. (Turning away from customer and facing boss) Brad with this half strength long black is i...
Customer: I'm not having a half strength long black.
Me: Yes I know. Your coffee is coming. (Turning away again) So with the half strength long black in a cup is it just half a shot or a single- (we do mug shots normally baristas, don't freak out.)
Customer: No, no, no. I only want my coffee half strength. Half a shot would be too weak.
Me: I'm not talking to you.
Customer: Oh...
My prediction- she was an attention seeking, cat loving pschopath...
“I can’t fly, but swimming is the next best thing… the water is my...”
– Anon
It sucks when you know there is something on,...
I hate coming home. Nothing ever changes. I hope everytime before I open that front door that something will be different. That there will be something inside that will make me want to stay. But lately- in this festive, incredible time of year- there has been nothing.
How can someone who is told ‘They have the world at their feet’ ‘The world is your oyster’ ‘You have...